Monday, March 3, 2014

Saturday Night Widows by Becky Aikman

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     This book was a surprise for me. It wasn’t at all what I thought I was buying. I thought I was getting a feel good book about friendships – which I enjoy reading.

    Instead I got a true book about six women trying to find their way after the death of a spouse. At first I was disappointed, but their lives drew me in and I learned from the book. Very well written and brings an understanding to the term “widow.”

     First and foremost, the “widow” can’t be put into a box. Not all are alike and not all can be treated the same. – Everyone, grieves in their own way and everyone is an individual.


“In her forties – a widow, too young, too modern to accept the role – Becky Aikman struggled to make sense of her place in an altered world.  In this transcendent and infectiously wise memoir, she explores surprising new discoveries about how people experience grief and transcend loss and, following her own remarriage, forms a group with five other young widows to test these unconventional ideas.  Together, these friends summon the humor, resilience, and striving spirit essential for anyone overcoming adversity.

   Meet the Saturday Night Widows: ringleader Becky, an unsentimental journalist who lost her husband to cancer; Tara, a polished mother of two, whose husband died in the throes of alcoholism after she filed for divorce; Denise, a widow of just five months, now struggling to get by; Marcia, a hard-driving corporate lawyer; Dawn, an alluring self-made entrepreneur whose husband was killed in a sporting accident, leaving two small children behind; and Lesley, a housewife who returned home one day to find that her husband had committed suicide.
   The women meet once a month, and over the course of a year, they strike out on ever more far-flung adventures, learning to live past the worst thing they thought could happen.  They share emotional peaks and valleys – dating, parenting, moving, finding meaningful work, and reinventing themselves – while turning traditional thinking about loss and recovery upside down.  Through it all runs the story of Aikman's own journey through grief and her love affair with a man who tempts her to marry again.  In a transporting story of what friends can achieve when they hold each other up, Saturday Night Widows is a rare book that will make you laugh, think, and remind yourself that despite the utter unpredictability and occasional tragedy of life, it is also precious, fragile, and often more joyous than we recognize.”              Synopsis from Amazon

I thought of my friend Debra many times while reading this book. She is a widow and meets with other widows when her busy life allows and I am glad. I've watched her adjust to a new life, while not at all “easy” she has done it. And done it gracefully.

A great book and one I hope you will take the time to read and share with others.