The Saving Graces by Patricia Gaffney

"The Saving Graces" by Patricia Gaffney was recommended to my by one of the newsletters I get for book clubs. It was written in 1999 but is timeless in the story it tells. It has been on the "New York Times" bestseller list and has had numerous positive reviews by authors, magazines and newspapers.

"Meet the Saving Graces, four of the best friends a woman can ever have.

For ten years, Emma, Rudy, Lee and Isabel have shared a deep affection that has helped them deal with the ebb and flow of expectations and disappointments common to us all. Calling themselves the Saving Graces, the quartet is united by understanding, honesty, and acceptance—a connection that has grown stronger as the years go by...

Though these sisters of the heart and soul have seen it all, talked through it all, Emma, Rudy, Lee and Isabel will not be prepared for a crisis of astounding proportions that will put their love and courage to the ultimate test."

I have a weakness for books where women are friends and stick together! Not to the detriment of marriage and motherhood but a group of friends that are only strengthened in their roles by their relationships with one another.

I didn't zip through this book like I do so many others. It took me a little longer to read. But it was well worth it. I did skim - skip over one small section where the character was doing something that made me sooo embarrassed for her, I just couldn't bring myself to read it. It just seemed to private. (She was volunteering at a crisis counseling call center.) When a book character embarrasses herself, it's there on the page for everyone to see. At least when I do something stupid - it's not written for the whole world to see!! In other words - YES, I do get very involved with the characters!!

This group started, not as a book club, not a political group and not a feminist organization - just women who liked and respected one another. They thought they could learn something from meeting every so often to talk about issues of interest. They weren't all friends when they started, just acquaintances.  But over they years they became more than just friends.

There are four main characters and Gaffney wrote in a style I really like. Each chapter is seen from a different woman's perspective. I like this. It gives the reader an opportunity to experience the personality of each individual woman. I did make a list of characters at the beginning with a small description of each so until I got really acquainted with each I had a cheat sheet to help! I find myself doing this more and more as I get older!

It's a good book. Very well written and believable. I found myself identifying with one particular character in the book. And yet, I could see a little of myself in all of them.

Patricia Gaffney earned a bachelor’s degree in English and philosophy from Marymount College in Tarrytown, New York, and also studied literature at Royal Holloway College of the University of London, at George Washington University, and at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She has been a teacher, a journalist and is an author of several books and novellas.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1984 and in January 2012 she celebrated her 28th anniversary as a cancer survivor. How exciting is that!!!

Patricia Gaffney has a web site HERE. Check it out, learn more about her and her books.

 

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Book Club

I met my friend Debra when she first came to book club in 1999. We were at the same FIRST meeting of "The Book Club."  Those of you who know me know I love my book club. - And I've blogged about our book club and book clubs in general many times.

 The Book Club

April 2011

Charolette Buller, Diane Goodwin, Debra Blakley, Brenda Cohorn, Pam McCaskey and Charlotte Leiser

Judy Dunn - not shown

Anyway, Debra did a blog on book clubs and I just wanted to let my readers know about it. You can find it HERE.  Check out her writings on Book Clubs.

I remember as a young girl, my mom attended a Home Extension Club. They met every month and had lessons about sewing, cooking, being good mothers, etc. She still keeps up with some of the women she met over the years.

I also remember in 1984 (?) maybe '85, I had the opportunity to sit in on some recordings of Dr. James Dobson. In his wisdom he spoke about some of the differences of men and women and how important it is for women to have friends. (He didn't leave the men out, but I'm not speaking about men right now.) I believe that my mom's extension club was important for the friendships of women. I believe the modern day equivalent of the Home Extension Club is the book club. - or any other club you want to come up with.

Camaraderie is so important for us. Sharing our lives, our struggles, our accomplishments - with women we love and trust. I know that depression is very rampant in women today, some of this may be eliminated with a group of good friends that love you.

Debra's blog is very good. She speaks from years of experience. Read her blog and together with the idea of building a community of friends I urge you to start a book club or invite yourself to one!! 

The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D by Nichole Bernier

I'm always looking for a new book to read. If I find one by a new author - all the better!  I read about The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D. from a Newsletter I've received for years and it is very informational for book clubs. "Reading Group Choices" is the web site that sends the newsletter. You can find it HERE.  This website has so much information about books, it includes synopsis, book club information, free book opportunities. I've received many free books over the years from this web site.

I was interested in the synopsis they offered about this book. It intrigued me so I got it for my Kindle... Never mind that I have stacks - hmmm three relatively short stacks  :) of books for the summer! It did not disappoint.

This is a debut book by Nichole Bernier and just came out this month. 

Synopsis:

"Summer island vacation with her family was supposed to be a restorative time for Kate, who’d lost her close friend Elizabeth in a plane crash. But when she inherits a trunk of Elizabeth's journals, they reveal a woman far different than the cheerful wife and mother Kate thought she knew. The complicated portrait of Elizabeth — her upbringing, her marriage, and journey to motherhood — makes Kate question not just their friendship, but her own deepest beliefs about loyalty and honesty at a moment of uncertainty in her own marriage. When an unfamiliar man’s name appears in the pages, Kate realizes the extent of what she didn’t know about her friend — including where she was really going when she died."

" Before there were blogs, there were journals. And in them we’d write as we really were, not as we wanted to appear. But there comes a day when journals outlive us. And with them, our secrets."

 Not too long ago, I heard a troubled teen say, "My parents have made me the way I am today." I disagreed. I realize we have nature and nurture, but we also have free choice. Each of us can decide what we want to become, who we want to be. The choice is ours. The choice is mine. I must take responsibility for my own actions. As I read Bernier's book I thought of this conversation many times. This is a journaling, a record of not letting a past control your future.

I also realized the "why" of my never wanting to write a journal. I've tried many times. But each time I realized I wasn't truthful or open in my journaling. I was writing what I wanted others to see - with the realization that someday, someone may see what I'm writing. - as part of the synopsis said "... there comes a day when journals outlive us.."  This book will make you think. I looked at myself while reading this book. Some of what I saw, I didn't like. Some was good. 

You know I like to "mark" passages that speak to me. One in this book was Elizabeth speaking of her mother "... why someone would go somewhere else to open up to people for strength and togetherness when her own flesh and blood was right next to her looking for the same thing."  I knew exactly what her mother was searching for. Sometimes it's so much easier to let someone you don't know see all the black, gunky stuff inside of you. Especially mom's, we believe we must be strong for our families. And we do - to some extent, but if we never let our children see our weaknesses, will they grow up struggling with the idea of needing to be perfect?

Another passage I have marked - a married couple, "They looked for a long time at one another and there was nothing awkward in the look... It was a naked look and it was all right there: the waiting and the worry the dwindling communication and the secrecy and the deception.. The anxiety, and the longing for guarantees - against calamity ... when there were none to be had." I remember having these exact feelings. 


The fears many people have as they look at our world. It has gotten so complicated - so "unsafe." Again, how I respond to what's going on around me is my choice. I can make a complicated world even more complicated - or I can create a peaceful attitude all around me.

The characters of the book - their lives were not parallel with mine, no - "ah that happened to me" BUT their thoughts are much the same as mine. Different circumstances, same feelings, same thoughts.

"There is nothing new under the sun..." Ecclesiastes tells us. And the older I get the more I really understand this teaching.

A very well written book. A good story. What makes it so good is that Bernier was able to put the thoughts of so many of us, - women, daughters, mom's, wives -  into a story about two women - two families. 

It's a very good book. As I said before it will give you pause to think. 

Nichole is the author of The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D, a novel inspired by a family friend's healing following the September 11th attacks. She is at work on her second novel, and lives outside of Boston with her husband and five children.

 

*****

 

 

The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg

I first read a book by Elizabeth Berg several years ago. I really enjoyed it and read another that I didn't like so much. I picked "The Year of Pleasures" up this spring while Randy and I were "shopping" for our book business. I liked this one as much as the first one I read.

Elizabeth Berg said about this book:  

"I've always had a fantasy about reconnecting with old friends, with opening a store such as the one that Betta opens. And I loved the idea writing about pleasure, which is everywhere, even when we're in pain."

Synopsis:

" When Betta Nolan's husband, John, dies, she honors a promise she made to him to sell their house, drive across the country until she finds a town she likes, and move there. This is a novel about starting life over, and purposely enriching that life with the many pleasures, especially the small and free ones, that are always available to us. It also challenges the notion that a widow must or should behave in a certain way; and it shows how love does not die, but rather changes form."

"Betta Nolan is determined to find pleasure in her simple daily routines. Among those who help her in both expected and unexpected ways are the ten-year-old boy next door, three wild women friends from her college days, a twenty-year-old who is struggling to find his place in the world and a man who is ready for love."

I love the way Elizabeth Berg writes. I have so many post-it markers in this book - of things that really spoke to me! Even though I haven't experienced losing a spouse from death, I have lost a spouse after 37 years. When Berg writes "Still, every now and then a quick thrill raced up my spine in the form of a thought: I am my own again. Sorrow that lay pooled inside me gave over to a kind of exhilaration in those moments; the relief was stunning." I was amazed that someone other than me felt an excitement in the horrible sadness that had taken over my life.

Betta Nolan realizes "...Neighbors who seemed nice. A good-priced handyman...Lorraine [a new friend]. Into my looming empty basket, I laid these gifts."  Berg does a wonderful job of showing us that our friends, our circumstances can be "gifts" to us. If we let them and she does it without preaching - without making one feel judged if they aren't ready to find pleasures in life yet. She just gently lays it out there and lets us experience the opportunity of turning bad into good.

When you're hurting what if you find one thing every day - not a "I'm thankful for this or that" or not a "gratitude" journal, not something that happens to you that makes you feel good BUT something you make happen. Something you personally do that brings you happiness every single day. - in a very conscience way. - this message from the book reminds me of the "pay it forward" mindset. - Of the Liberty Mutual commercials! You know, do the right thing. 

Have you heard the tail of the Navajo grandfather talking to his grandson, "Two wolves live inside me. One is the bad wolf, full of greed and laziness, full of anger and jealousy and regret. The other is the good wolf, full of joy and compassion and willingness and a great love for the world. All the time, these wolves are fighting inside me." "But grandfather," the boy said, "Which wolf will win?" The grandfather answered, "The one I feed."  Berg is able to weave this mindset into "The Year of Pleasures."  This book is full of thought provoking wisdom.

Ever since reading "Open House" by Elizabeth Berg so many years ago - I have considered her one of my favorite authors. Check out her website - which lists all of her books HERE.

 From her website:

"I was born in St. Paul, Minnesota on December 2, 1948. Before I became a writer, I was a registered nurse for ten years, and that was my “school” for writing—taking care of patients taught me a lot about human nature, about hope and fear and love and loss and regret and triumph and especially about relationships--all things that I tend to focus on in my work. I worked as a waitress, which is also good training for a writer, and I sang in a rock band which was not good for anything except the money I made. I was a dramatic and dreamy child, given to living more inside my head than outside, something that persists up to today and makes me a terrible dining partner. I was married for over twenty years and am now divorced. I have two daughters and three grandchildren. I live with my excellent dog, Homer, and my cat, Gracie, mostly in Chicago, but sometimes in Boston or Wisconsin."

I highly recommend "The Year of Pleasures"

***** 

 

These Foolish Things (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) by Deborah Moggach

I had been looking forward to seeing this movie from the first time I saw an advertisement on TV for it. When it came to Wichita, we went the first day. It was a Friday afternoon and the theater was filled! First time I've been to a movie in Wichita that I've actually felt a bit crowded. (except in "The Hunger Games") And this "crowding" was comfortable because everyone in this movie was "our age"!!  or older! Nothing makes you feel young like going to a movie filled with "older" people!!! Actually - they probably said the same about me. ANYWAY - to get back to my review.

The next week, I bought the book on my Fire and read it.

I LOVED the movie. Some of my very favorite actresses in it. Maggie Smith, Dame Judy Dench, and Penelope Wilton. The book had many more characters than the movie and they combined several together for the movie. - I did have to make a list of the characters in the book to keep them straight. (that would be the age thing again!)

The book was written by Deborah Moggach and titled "These Foolish Things."

Synopsis:  (from Deborah Moggach's website that you can visit HERE. )

"THESE FOOLISH THINGS (Chatto and Windus £12.99)

This is my latest novel. It came about because I’d been thinking a lot about growing older, about what is going to happen to us all. The population is ageing – for the first time the over 50s outnumber the rest of us – and it’s getting older. Where are we all going to live? Care homes are closing, pensions are dwindling, and life expectancy is rising. Then I had a brainwave. We live in a global age – the internet, cheap travel, satellite TV…when it comes to goods and services it hardly matters where we live. “Geography is history.” Our healthcare is sourced from the developing countries; how about turning the tables and outsourcing the elderly? How about setting up retirement homes in developing countries where it’s sunny and labour is cheap? So I created an Indian whizz-kid called Sonny who sets up a retirement home in Bangalore and fills it with Brits."

I loved the movie. It quickly became my favorite! Even over my old standby quotable movie of all time "Steel Magnolias."  


A couple of unforgettable quotes from the movie:

"Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, then it is not yet the end."   Sonny

Or Maggie Smith as Muriel responding to an orderly:

Orderly: My wife is from Mumbai.

Muriel:  Well don't blame me, you married her!

Often, if I like the book, I won't go to the movie because it usually disappoints. I mean very seldom do flesh and blood actors/actresses meet the expectations I have built with my imagination! But this time, I went about it backwards. The movie first - then the book.

I loved the book, too. It was easy to read and once I got past the reality of  more characters and different ones than the movie I settled back and had a good time. Once I figured out who was who, it was a very enjoyable read. 

Maybe it's because I'm 59, I don't know. I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it as much if I were in my 30's. But I am reaching the age of "what's next". I'm retired and am doing great. Busy, busy busy. But what happens in a few years? I watched as we dealt with my mother-in-law as she suffered with dementia and was living in a care facility. It was never easy.

Of course, we all hope that we won't be in that position, but who knows what will come. 

The book doesn't answer these questions but Moggach does a terrific job of letting her readers see that life does NOT end just because you are over 60 - 70 - 80... It doesn't end just because you may be in a wheel chair. Moggach gives hope - and she's funny. 

The book addresses all that we have a tendency to pretend we don't notice - race,  mortality, sex. Love between older people. Or if we do notice, so many times we look away and pretend we didn't see. The book helps you look at these rites of passage with humor and more importantly understanding. I hope if you read it you will look at "old age" more patiently and wait for it with excitement!

Deborah Moggach has written several books and I plan on reading more from this author. Her children have long since grown up and she lives near Hampstead Heath, England. She also loves biking around London.

I really encourage you to go to her website. Her biography is so good and it seems as if she becomes your friend!! Very personable! I enjoyed her book and I've enjoyed her website. 

http://www.deborahmoggach.com/ 

I highly recommend the movie

"The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"

I VERY highly recommend her book

"These Foolish Things"

or can also be found under the title

"The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"

*****

 

Miss Zukas and the Library Murders by Jo Dereske

I will be the first to admit that had I been looking in a book store for a "cozy" to read - I would never have chosen this book - yep, because of the cover. Not a cover that would have drawn me. But, I purchased it on my kindle fire and didn't see this cover. I am sorry but apparently I DO judge a book by it's cover!

 My virtual cover for my Kindle Fire.

(for some reason this one is much more pleasing to me!)

I like cozies. I don't like romance, but sometimes I want a light read so I turn to the genre of murder! I have several from my favorite authors on my book shelves. I didn't feel like rereading at the time so I googled  "cozies" and found a discussion on a blog about authors of this genre. I made a list of several that I thought I would look up and when I did, I started with Jo Dereske. I enjoyed this first book in her series of 12 books about Miss Helma Zukas, a 30 something librarian in Washington state.

 "Meet Miss Zukas . . . the very proper, exceedingly conscientious, and relentlessly curious local librarian of tiny Bellehaven, Washington—and one heck of an amateur sleuth! The Bellehaven police are baffled when a dead body turns up right in the middle of the library's fiction stacks. But Miss Helma Zukas—who never fails to make note of the slightest deviation from the norm of everyday life—is not willing to let this rather nasty disruption stand. Her precious literary sanctuary has been violated, and if the local law cannot get to the bottom of this case, Miss Zukas certainly intends to—with the help of her not-so-proper best friend, Ruth, a six-foot-tall bohemian artist with a nose for gossip and a penchant for getting into trouble. But their research project is bringing them a little too close to a killer . . . who'd like nothing better than to write Helma and Ruth out of the story completely!"

I really enjoyed this book. It was funny, moved fast, but not too deep and not scarey (which is the point of a good cozy.) I had figured out "whodunit" before the end but it is very well written and entertaining.  I will admit, at first, I kept picturing Miss Zukas as an older women (apparently I also stereotype!) but that picture quickly faded as I continued to read. There is also a good looking, single, police chief in the story. (maybe romance isn't that bad!)

Once I finished book one I purchased book two Miss Zukas and the Island Murders. I enjoyed book two, also. I plan on reading all 12 books.

 

The author, Jo Dereske is the author of 17 published books. She lives in Washington and to find out more about her you can check out her web site HERE


For my friends who like "cozies" I suggest Jo Dereske's series about Miss Zukas. Light reading and very entertaining!

*****

 

Google lose.. Brenda win..

If you read my other blog - you will know that

I have not been able to get on my blog for a long long time.

I finally had time today to work work work 

to get back on.

YeaH!!!! I"m back.

REVEAL Where Are You? by Greg L. Hawkins and Cally Parkinson

I like books about improving the Church. I guess my 30+ years being married to a minister didn't go away when the minister did. (that's kind of a joke - albeit a poor one!)

Anyway, I picked up this copy of REVEAL Where Are You?  this last week, Randy listed it on Amazon and it sold right away. - But not before I read it! 

The book is about Willow Creek Community Church in Illinois. The authors ask the questions "Is your church really making a difference? How do you know?"

From the book:

".. Willow Creek invites you to learn what it discovered in a three-year process of study and research—involving six other churches as well as congregants from Willow Creek.

• Discover the four segments that characterize the journey of spiritual growth.
• Learn more about what catalyzes and stunts spiritual growth.
• And understand how the church needs to change in order to help people become more like Christ.

What you discover here may challenge you. Or confirm nagging suspicions you've had all along. Either way, the findings in REVEAL will undoubtedly change the way you think about church—and what it really takes to make a difference."  

You can read more about this book HERE .

Over the last 30+ years I've heard of churches that are doing God's work in a big way. Several years ago I read Rediscovering Church by Bill Hybels and was very intrigued by this church Willow Creek and how they became the church they became. So when I saw this copy of  REVEAL Where Are You?  I knew it was a book I wanted to read.

This is a small book, easily read. I feel as if it's a book that one would want to keep in their library to reread often. Willow Creek surveys their church people every three years or so and they actually LISTEN to what their people are saying. This is how they have come to be the church that meets the needs of their congregation.

The authors of this book are all leaders in Willow Creek Community Church.

 

Randy often says a church needs to have more of a "business" sense to function effectively. - Servicing your customer in all aspects. This need is addressed in this book.

My favorite quote in the book is "There is a passionate instinct born in all of us that desires to draw closer to God."  This statement could be a book (blog) within itself. 

Bill Hybels, the pastor of Willow Creek says in the forward: "When I first heard the results [of these surveys}, the pain of knowing was almost unbearable. Upon reflection, I realized that the pain of not knowing could be catastrophic."

I really liked this book and would recommend it to all church leaders - easy and fast to read with LOTS of information very well laid out.

*****

"Bitsy's Bait & BBQ" by Pamela Morsi

"Bitsy's Bait & BBQ" by Pamela Morsi was published in 2007. The setting is in the Ozarks in Missouri.

"When Emma Collins uses her divorce settlement to purchase a bed-and-breakfast in the Ozarks, her sister Katy thinks small-town life will be perfect for her and her six-year-old son. But when the sisters arrive and find that B-and-B means Bait-and-BBQ,  they have no choice but to roll up their sleeves and get to work."

My daughter-in-law, Michelle, gave us several boxes of books to sell, read, share - whatever we wanted to do. I went through them and put several in a stack to read. (I know... stacks of books tend to surround me!) Anyway, when I finished  "Sentence of Marriage"  I wanted something "light" and "happy" to read! So I went through a couple of my stacks and found this copy of "Bitsy's Bait & BBQ." The title is catchy and light hearted!  I'm usually not a fan of the romance genre and hoped this one had more substance than your typical romance. It did! It was fun, descriptive and a had little bit of "suspense."

I always enjoy a book where the heroine is an independent woman with her own business. They learn as they go with bait and bbq! The suspense includes Emma's 6 year old son, his paternal Grandmother and his biological Father. Throw in some fishing, some life lessons on judging people on their looks instead of what's in their heart and bad - turned good bbq and you come up with a light hearted, good read. 


Once I went to Pamela Morsi's web site, I realized how she wrote such an uplifting book! Her "about me" page includes this: 

"I was in a fetal position on the bed sobbing when my husband came in and asked me what was wrong.
“I could have been a writer!” I complained bitterly.  “It’s what I always wanted.  I could have been a writer, if I didn’t have you and this house and these kids.  I could have done it!”
He was very sympathetic...for a while.
Then he went out and bought me a computer, set it up in the corner of our bedroom and told me.  “You can’t quit your job.  But I’ll do the cooking and the kids can help me with the house.  You have every night and every weekend.  Write your blankety-blank book or shut the blank up about it.” 

Read more about this funny, remarkable woman HERE.  

When you are looking for a light entertaining read - check out Pamela Morsi's books. I don't thing you will be disappointed.

****

Sentence of Marriage by Shayne Parkinson

"Sentence of Marriage" by Shayne Parkinson was published in 2009. It's the first book in a trilogy entitled "Promises to Keep." Book two is "Mud and Gold," book three is "Settling the Account." Even though it's touted as a trilogy, there is a fourth book "A Second Chance."  

You can acquire book one free from many websites online (I got mine on my Kindle from Amazon) - the others are sold for $2.99 which is a very good price for books.

"In 19th Century New Zealand, there are few choices for a farm girl like Amy. Her life seems mapped out for her by the time she is twelve. Amy dreams of an exciting life in the world beyond her narrow boundaries. But it is the two people who come to the farm from outside the valley who change her life forever, and Amy learns the high cost of making the wrong choice. Book 1 of 'Promises to Keep'" from smashwords.

This book does have good description of life in the 19th century in New Zealand. Parkinson is very descriptive and is a very good writer. I did struggle with the "story" of Amy. I kept waiting for the girl to get a break.. She never did. I kept thinking "this is fiction, the author can take the story any direction she wants, WHY on earth is it so bleak, so sad, so aggravating???" 

My only hope is that things begin looking up in the following books, I'm not too optimistic about this after reading the synopsis and reviews of the other books. Interestingly, the reviews of this book are either "love, love, love it" or "HATE" it! Not many on the fence. - except me. I did not like the book but again, I'm hoping the other books redeem my opinion on "Promises to Keep." 

It begins with Amy as a young girl of 13 and takes us through the next few years of her life. Her Dad annoys the heck out of me.... But at the same time I do realize fathers haven't always taken an active roll in the lives of their daughters especially when a living was made by his hands in hard labor - they just didn't have time.  I won't even go into how I felt about her step-mother... and her step-mother's brother - oh man, I'll just keep quiet on this.

The one redeeming quality of the book was Amy's cousin Lizzie. She really had a love for Amy and really did try to help and do what was right for the girl.

This book was suggested to me by a friend and when we went to dinner last week with him and his wife I really gave him a hard time about suggesting this book to me! He, however, liked the book and is very hopeful about the rest of the series.

I haven't yet decided if I'm going to take the time to read them or not... verdict is still out.

Shayne Parkinson does have a website HERE.  And she has a blog HERE.

If you take the time to read this FREE book, let me know what you think. I would love to have a discussion about it with you.

**